


With My Brother Standing By

by aleia



Series: You Are My Home [2]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Found Families, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Past Drug Addiction, Shovel Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24406975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleia/pseuds/aleia
Summary: This is an alternate point of view for my fic, Here Is What I Know Now, but it can definitely be read as a stand alone, because it's just Judd's talk with Carlos about their relationship.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes & Judd Ryder (9-1-1 Lone Star), Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Series: You Are My Home [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1762513
Comments: 14
Kudos: 119





	With My Brother Standing By

Carlos should be suspicious when he shows up with lunch for Michelle and she comes downstairs to tell him that Owen asked her to have some kind of meeting, but his first instinct is to think that now he can find somewhere quiet and FaceTime TK for his whole lunch break. TK’s been texting him and sending him selfies all day and Carlos doesn’t want to him to think that that he should slow down even though Carlos doesn’t have time to pay attention to him. Carlos has an entire folder in his phone of TK’s selfies and he likes flipping through them more than he’ll ever admit. He called TK on one of his earlier breaks, but it’s not like he doesn’t want to do it again.

“So. Looks like you’re free for lunch.”

Judd’s already changed out of his uniform so there’s no hope that the alarm is going to ring and save Carlos from the talk that Judd is clearly determined for them to have. Carlos could probably make an excuse. He could send Maria a quick text and she’d come on the radio to demand his attention. TK would definitely tell him to do exactly that. But Carlos can already tell that Judd is going to keep trying. He’ll probably get more determined the longer Carlos tries to avoid him. And no matter how many times TK tries to tell him to ignore Judd, Carlos knows how much TK actually cares what Judd thinks.

Plus, he has seen how quickly Judd goes soft and drops his tough act. Carlos would rather have his support than keep fighting him.

“I guess I am, but I do still have to eat before I go back to work and I only brought enough for Michelle,” Carlos says.

Judd mostly hides his surprise that Carlos agreed easily and leads Carlos to the yard behind the station where he was planning to eat with Michelle. Sometimes it’s hard for them to get one of the three picnic tables. Today it’s suspiciously empty.

“So,” Judd says after they’re seated and Carlos has started to unpack his lunch. “TK’s been real squirrelly whenever I try ask him what’s goin’ on with y’all. Now I know you’ve been after him since the first day he started taking calls here, so I’ve already waited a long time to make sure there’s nothing going on that I should be worried about. So, I’m just gonna ask you. First of all, I want to know how serious y’all are.”

Carlos really hopes that he’s right that TK’s only withheld their relationship status from Judd to try to protect him.

“We’re together. Officially.”

Judd nods. “Since when exactly?”

“The solar flare.”

Judd nods and Carlos takes the time to eat. He’s hoping Judd will ask questions while he’s eating, and he can think while taking the time to swallow.

“TK said he told you about his relapse, but he was a little unclear about _when_ he told you. Can you be more specific?”

Carlos isn’t sure where Judd is going with this line of questioning, but it’s not like he wants to be caught in a lie later either way.

“He told me that he was addict and he’d had a relapse recently around the time y’all had a fight over the corn silo thing,” Carlos says, leaving out the events that let up to it because he _knows_ TK will be upset if Carlos spills about his arrest. “He didn’t tell me how serious it was until after the solar flare.”

Carlos can see Judd thinking and he has to admit to himself that continuing to eat while he’s not sure what Judd’s going to say isn’t the easiest thing to do. It’s only the knowledge that something could happen on a call to keep him eating again that makes him force down another taco.

“I didn’t know until he told us,” Judd says. “But I knew there was _something_. I could tell he wasn’t quite stable. I could tell he was struggling. I knew there had to be a reason he came down here with his dad the way he did. I knew there had to be a reason the captain worried so much about him that wasn’t just about the captain being sick. But I couldn’t do anything but wait for one of them to tell me.”

Carlos nods because he’s not sure if Judd’s just explaining things or if he’s going somewhere that has to do with Carlos.

“You know addicts aren’t supposed to date for a while after a relapse?”

Carlos suddenly realizes where Judd is going, and he wishes he thought he could get away with pretending to be ignorant. But he’s a cop. He knows the basics of recovery. His only excuse is that TK didn’t specify how bad his relapse was. But Carlos knows it’s flimsy. TK told him about the relapse while sitting in a police station after starting a bar fight. He told Carlos that he started the fight just to feel something. Carlos isn’t an idiot. He told himself that TK would probably get in less trouble if he was more involved in TK’s life. Carlos rationalized that he made sure that TK seemed like he was in a good place before they slept together again, and Carlos waited even longer before dominating him.

But Carlos also knows that he did all those things because he wanted TK and he didn’t want to risk missing his chance to be first in line. Somehow, he doesn’t think Judd will take _but I liked him, and you’ve seen him and he’s beautiful_ as an excuse.

So instead of all his excuses, Carlos just nods.

When Judd doesn’t say anything, Carlos adds, “I know it’s not an excuse, but I did try to give him as much space and time as he needed. I told him we could just be friends. I didn’t hook up with him again until he seemed like he was doing a little better. He made the call for us to be official. I gave him all the same options: to just be friends, to not put a label and move at whatever pace he wanted. I’m not pretending I’ve been perfect, but I’m trying, and I don’t think it’ll be good for him now if I push him away because maybe he’s not ready.”

Judd at least gives him a small nod.

“It’s still only been a few months. And they had to give him opioids when he got shot. He’s not just better. He’s dealing with it. And we’re all trying to help him as much as we can. But you can’t just think this will be easy. It’s still a battle to get him to let me in, but I can still tell he’s moody over text because sometimes he’s texting everyone all day, and sometimes, he won’t answer. Someone says one thing wrong on our damn group text and he disappears. The captain’s worried that he’s not sleeping so that can’t be helping anything and I know y’all aren’t supposed to be having sex right now.”

“I’m not arguing with any of that. But we’re dealing with it,” Carlos tells him. “And, uh, the no sex thing isn’t an issue. I care about his health. I’d never push that.”

“It’s not an issue for _you_ ,” Judd says with a smirk.

Carlos hides his burning face behind his iced tea while Judd laughs at him.

“Listen,” Judd says when he stops laughing. “Whatever I think about anything that’s already happened, I agree it’s not worth dwelling on it now. It’s obvious that you care about him and I don’t think you’re a bad guy. But I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told the captain. Helping him through this isn’t a one-man job. It’s not a two-man job either. You need help, you tell someone, okay? It’s not going to do either of you any good to just try to pretend you can handle it all yourself.”

Some of the tension flows out of Carlos as he nods. Judd wouldn’t say that if he didn’t think Carlos was good for TK overall. And if TK really didn’t care about Judd’s opinion, he wouldn’t have worried so much about this conversation happening.

“But if I think you’re hurting him, I’m getting involved. I’ve seen you get kind of rough with him. You know how big this state is. I can take you out somewhere no one will find your body.”

It’s not like Carlos didn’t know this was coming so he just nods and says, “Understood.” He’s not going to be the person who explains to Judd that TK _likes_ it when he gets rough and he doesn’t want more details about what Judd’s seen. He can just be a bit more careful when Judd’s around.

“I feel like I should’ve known there was a set up going on.”

Carlos can’t pretend he’s not a little relieved to hear Michelle’s voice. Judd just laughs, gets up, and offers Michelle his seat.

“Wouldn’t’ve had to plan a set up if he’d taken any of my invitations. But I think we’re done here. And in the spirit our conversation, I’m going to invite myself over to see your boy so you and the captain can worry less about being away from him. Grace is cooking for us because he might turn down my cooking, but he won’t turn down hers no matter what mood he’s in.”

Maybe it’s more for Owen, but it does make Carlos feel better about not being able to see TK until the next evening, so he thanks Judd anyway. Judd’s clap on his shoulder is probably a little harder than it needs to be, but overall, the whole thing could’ve gone a lot worse.

“Owen says not to take this as a sign he doesn’t like you,” Michelle says after Judd is gone. “You were only delaying the inevitable, he owed Judd a favor, and he was going to let me save you eventually.”

“He didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. It’s fine,” Carlos says. He can’t even be offended if Owen agrees with some of Judd’s criticisms because almost everything Judd said was valid. Carlos knows that Owen likes him. Maybe it was easier to let Judd say the things that they both agreed needed to be said.

“You’re okay, right?” Michelle asks. “Because if you’re not, you have a few minutes to FaceTime TK and talk to him about it.”

“No. I’m okay. And Owen’s right. I knew it was going to happen. I was only avoiding it because TK wanted me to.” Carlos looks at his phone anyway. He has sixteen texts from TK.

 **TK:** Ignore me. Have a good lunch with Michelle. These are just for after. 😘

The next fifteen texts are just selfies with different expressions. Carlos loves all of them. If nothing else, TK’s selfies mean he’s in a decent mood even if he’s bored and hungry for attention. It’s when he stops that Carlos worries TK’s telling Carlos he’s fine, but really lying in bed all day feeling sorry for himself. Selfies mean that TK’s bored, but he’s up and he’s dressed, he’s eating regularly, and sometimes, he’s even out of the house.

 **Carlos:** You’re gorgeous in every setting. That last one is my favorite even if it’s almost breaking the rules. You should send the 3rd one to your dad. He’ll like it.  
**TK:** One day I’m going to figure out why you pick certain ones to send to my dad and why you’re always right.  
**Carlos:** Let me have some secrets.

Of course, if TK pushes it, Carlos will tell him anything, but Carlos knows that no matter how much TK pretends to be annoyed, he actually loves having his father approve of his relationship for once. Carlos will endure a million talks from Judd to preserve it.

**Author's Note:**

> So Carlos definitely made this seem like a much shorter conversation when TK asked how bad it was, but it is what it is. For the record, I do think that pursuing TK when he was so obviously unstable was a bit shady. That doesn’t mean I think Carlos is a bad person. I think it’s hard when you meet someone and you like them and the timing is just so bad. But also, what if giving them space means that you lose them? It’s a lot easier for Judd to judge when he’s not there is all I’m saying. Also, TK was very isolated by the move and not having Carlos would’ve meant not having someone outside of the firehouse to talk to, so I don’t think that would’ve been helpful either. So yeah. Anyway, Carlos is fine.


End file.
